My Memory of September 11th at 7am

I was in bed.

When I think back on the morning that's what I remember.  I was 19 years old and I was sharing a room with my 12-year-old sister.  Her bed was close to the doorframe with the foot of her bed almost touching the door when it was open fully.  My bed was against the opposite wall, under the window and parallel to the matching bed which belonged to my sister.

I remember feeling pathetic.  Why was sharing a room with a 12-year-old? And, especially after living on my own for the past 6 months in one of the biggest cities in the world? 

I remember opening my eyes to see light filling the entire room.  I remember seeing the colorful silhouette of my mother against the stark white walls.  I remember thinking, "Why is she standing there?"

She was saying something.  She was trying to make me hear what she was saying.  She was trying to help me understand.

I remember thinking that what she was saying made absolutely no sense at all. I was wishing she would just stop talking and walk away.  I remember I wanted to go back to sleep and wake up when it was fully day, when I could make sense of what she was saying.

"New York is on fire," was her explanation.

I knew that was wrong. 

What?

"An airplane flew into the World Trade Center.  And then another plane flew into the other one." 

The end of the World.

 "It's on the news."

I got out of bed and went to the living room.  On the TV I saw the 2 buildings I'd just seen with my own eyes 3 weeks before.  Then, they'd been lit up with lights over 100 stories high.  Today they were lit up with flames.  Falling.  Crumbling. 

How?

(Written September 2018)