My (not so) Shocking Chakra

My mind is blown. 

And I feel kinda embarrassed to say that this is the first time I’ve invested any energy into learning about chakras.

To start out my research, I read quickly about chakra meditation from a blogger online (this is a very serious study, obviously,) and then ran myself through a quick meditation to check activity levels & whatnot. 

This was all BEFORE learning what the different chakras mean.

Here's what I got:

Red - very steady & busy. 

Orange - slower, but steady energy. 

Yellow - steady, "happy" level of energy. 

Green - good, steady.


Blue - Hmmm . . . interesting.  

Blue . . .

Extremely unstable. It would start up, then sputter and die, kinda like a struggling car engine. It wanted to run, it just seemed to lack the sustaining power to really get revved up enough to steady itself to a flow.

Somehow, this was not alarming or surprising to me.

Moving on, moving up . . .

Indigo - good, running smoothly, perhaps a little cautiously.

Violet - exploding out the top, awesome.  I felt a little lightheaded in the moment, even a bit transcendiary.

Done.

So blue chakra, huh?

Back to the research.

Blue = Throat. 

Blue chakra governs voice.

Personal vocal expression. The ability to speak your truth, necessarily and kindly. 

Dangit. 

I already knew it.

When I was little, I would write letters to people and never send them. 

I would have full on conversations in my head with people who were literally right next to me, but never say a word to them.

I would sing because it gave voice to the emotions that I didn't know how to vocalize.

For about the past year or so I’ve been getting strong impressions and thoughts about finding, using, and exploring my voice. Writing, singing. Speaking. Communicating.  

A number of my daily affirmations center around communicating clearly, directly, and appropriately.  

I really believe in this stuff. 

That's why I started a blog about a year ago. 

And here I am, a year later with my sputtering, on-again, off-again chakra.

So what does this mean?

Well, those of us who've lived a lot of our lifetime inside our heads know that it's not very simple to take all that's in there and condense it to a few lines or words. And the reason we keep it in there is because to expose all that's in there to other people is one of the scariest risks we could ever take. 

What if I say it wrong? 

What if my emotions take over and I literally can't get the words out?

What if my emotions take over and I'm not taken seriously? 

What if I hurt someone when I'm only trying to express my own wants and needs? 

What if I speak my truth, and then I'm shot down by someone who can say the opposite more clearly, truthfully, and passionately?

What if I speak my truth and then I'm overshadowed by someone who can say the same thing more clearly, truthfully, and passionately? 

What if I'm not even heard?

It's scary.

Wait--are you telling me that to fully ignite my chakra I have to be brave? 

In order for my truth to be heard, do I have to say it? Do I have to verbally manifest something for it to be true?

Here's what I think.  So far:

To ignite my blue energy, I will start by saying that I don't know how to say the things I don't even want to want to try to say. 

And, since I still write letters that I don't send (mostly in forms of blog posts)--

Since I still have conversations with people that I never vocalize (mostly compliments)-- 

Since I still sing, but not nearly often enough (mostly, I need to find my own words and melodies)--

I will also say that this is going to take some time. And energy.

There's a lot I've written that I haven't shared.  There's a lot I've felt to say that I haven't said. There's a lot I feel like I don't know how to say.

Yet.

Blue Chakra, get ready to rock.


P.S. Here's the link to the website I was doing my research from today:

https://blog.mindvalley.com/7-chakras/